In awe

There's this friend that i have. She's older than i am so naturally she's much more matured and I respect her very much. I find that i can tell her many things and not feel awkward about it. I guess maybe cuz she's majoring in counselling and i probably found a listening ear. Her words are always convincing and she sounded more caring than authoritative when guiding us as group leader.
Anyway, I'm always amaze at how capable she is and how her thinking seems to be much different from others my age. (She sometimes act like a middle aged woman). She can be inspiring at times.
Between juggling debates that requires tedious practice every day, she has to manage being team leader for 4 assignments (compiling works, editing, brainstorming, leading, distributing work bla bla...) she seems to manages it all.  Then there's society meetings and events that she involve herself in. I don't see her complaining but i can see she's really tired of all of it.
But i still wanna let her know that she's doing a great job and she should keep up the good work. Though at the same time, I really feel that she should take a break from all those leadership job. She needs a time out. As a friend I'm really concern about her pushing herself too much but still, I'm in awe by her efforts and hard work. My problems are so insignificant compared to hers. She made me realize that i shouldn't complain that much at times~ Here to you my friend. 

The hellish part of university life: Being a student

Oh yes, it's that time of the semester again when the University think it's hilarious to see students work their ass off, running around arranging meetings, preparing reports and presentation slides bla bla bla~~
My university is super sadistic as in they add in midterms in between the presentation and submitting reports. I had to juggle like 3 reports to be submitted this week and 3 midterm. This is the part of university i hate the most, the assignments, presentations and midterms. The others are fine, i just love the normal times.
but actually i should blame it on myself. Okay i admit that i slacked off for the first few weeks and knowing that the deadline is close, i still refuse to do until it's really really close. And midterms? I can finish reading the notes in one night. Haha~~ well, in a way it's a good experience as a student. You'll know how hard your life  is and keep reminding yourself not to fail any subjects so you don't need to repeat those tedious task every semester. I remember last semester i ended up sleepless for two night to do report and presentation. The worse was having to work from 8pm to 5am then having a class at 8am. Those were the crazy times.
Then sometimes there's club meetings that are really a waste of time. Then there's those very valuable naps. I would do anything for a couple of hours of sleep during day time. There's really no time for me to relax during these times. But anyway, I still enjoy university life.

Falling for a stranger

It's totally absurd and unheard of, yet it happens. There's that moment of attraction and you feel something stir inside you. When he looked at me, i don't know, i feel flattered. Instead of just looking away when he stared at me, I stared back. And it lasted like hours.
I met him at a program or motivational talk. I noticed him since the first time he step through that door. I didn't think I'd be lucky enough to be paired up with him for the team work part. I was separated from my friend who was sitting at the same table as him. When the speaker told us to team up with the members in the table, I was the only extra one. My friend took that opportunity to raise up her hand and said she doesn't have a team mate too, hoping we would be paired up. But alas, the speaker decided to choose him to pair with me. He was really kind and caring as he guided my through the teamwork task. After the task ended, we went back to our respective seats but all the while during the almost 8 hours talk, we keep making eye contact. I noticed him staring first, I wasn't sure if it's cuz I was in his line of view or cuz the door is next to me. The speaker kept walking over to his place so I took that at an excuse to look at him. We even got grouped up again to person a stupid chicken dance as a punishment.
We never knew each other's name or contact number. I was too chickened out to ask and I never thought we'd see him again. I'm sure he's a senior from another faculty. After the program ended we really didn't see each other for a long time. Until one day while I was in town with my friends, I met him again. At first I thought, his face was really familiar, then it hit me. I kinda froze, in the middle of the road (good thing there's no car). I waved and he waved back (tho I didn't see it) I was too stunned. Anyway, cuz we're in the middle of the road, I had to move. Instead of following him to ask for his name, I didn't. I regretted it again. After that encounter I couldn't get him off my mind. My friend said it's infatuation. I don't know. I don't understand why I could be infatuated with someone who I have literally no knowledge about. 
I saw him again this semester, twice, and always at a very inappropriate place and time (Like when I was rushing to class and he's making his way through a crowd of people) Every time, I couldn't muster the courage to go up to him and talk. I feel like a teenage girl again which makes me really ridiculous and ashamed of myself. After these two times, I really never saw him again. And I regretted it AGAIN. He keeps popping up into my mind recently and I don't know why. This morning I went out for a run in hope to get him outta my mind but it doesn't seems to be working isn't it?
I've been annoying my friend about this, telling her the same story over and over again. Asking her why I'm feeling and thinking this way. She always came up with the same answer and told me to pluck up my courage next time I see him. Then I thought yeah, I really should.
So the next time I see him I will walk up and talk to him. The problem is, I'm afraid I'll never see him again. I don't know, I've been given chances and I let it go. I'm praying for another chance and hoping that I'll be granted.

Baby dumping and Pet negligence: The similarities and responsibilities

Look at these two cute faces? Do you really have the heart to hurt them?

These days I keep seeing posts on facebook about abused pets and how sharing the post and spread awareness. Everytime i see that, I try to block every picture I see on the article, pets that are beaten till they're covered in blood, hung from the roof, burned, pierced, stepped on till their guts spill out. i hate seeing those pictures. I am an animal lover and seeing these pictures pains me deeply. I can't imagine my dog in that condition. In fact I think i deserve to rot in hell if i ever do that to my pets. I remember i felt sad for days after my puppy Jingle died due to heredity sickness. It wasn't my fault it died, yet i felt responsible. These abusers are a direct blame for abusing pets yet they feel nothing.
Then there is baby dumping cases that grace the headlines of today's newspaper, along with the number of cases reported each year and the number is still increasing. I did a report on baby dumping few years ago and i really feel sad for these babies. Things just got worse when the govt introduced the project of baby hatches where abandoned babies can be left there if the parents don't wanna take responsibility for it. It's ridiculous but at the same time it might help. Why? The good thing is at least the baby can have a chance to live, the bad thing is they're encouraging people to have sex and get pregnant. And that they're spreading a message that indirectly says "it's okay to get pregnant and not want your baby cuz if you leave them with us they'll be fine". Bullcrap~~ kids nowadays are so spoil, they don't even know the value or the word of responsibilities means. Even without a religion, they as a human should at least have the heart to know that dumping babies that ends up killing them is wrong. It's the same as murdering someone. 
Where are the similarities of pets and babies? it's like a growing trend. You see an adorable puppy and you just want it. In a few month, when it grows up and you get sick of cleaning it's poop and feeding it and when it's no longer cute, you neglect it. OR you make it your punching bag. Remember, it has a life too, it feels pain, it wants to be loved. Like humans! imagine doing that to a human? these irresponsible owners just decided to rear it in the heat of the moment, not thinking of the future consequences. 
Same like having sex before marriage, you wanna experience sex cuz that's what all your buddies did. It's like a must in maintaining a relationship, a must to be a couple, a must to be a grown up. Let me repeat this, BULLSHIT! Sure, you have fun now. What if they get pregnant? Oh that's right, they didn't think about this. When they're pregnant, they get scared, they don't wanna take responsibility, they opted for abortion but wait! it's illegal in the country. Oh well, they'll wait till till they pop. When they do pop, they think, oh lets just stash it in the bushes or throw it in the river or something. OR let's just put the baby in the baby hatch, they'll take care of it, i won't be irresponsible, i won't be blamed or killing it. WRONG~~ it's still the same.
They treat rearing pets like they're buying the latest phone or electronic gadgets. But gadgets don't have life don't they? They won't cry in pain when you beat or burn them. Do God make these creature's with a mind that it can be used as a tool to release anger? Or these abusers are just plain sadist?
How about having sex before marriage? it's like a trend. "My girl pals had sex with their boy friend, i must not lose too" These brainless girls think having sex with their boyfriends are a transition to being a woman. Yeah, if you wanna be a woman. BE RESPONSIBLE like one too. Take charge of your own baby! If you're not ready, don't be a woman.
So what do i think of these two cases? I think before you think of rearing a pet or having unsafe sex, learn your RESPONSIBILITIES. 

Natures of politicians

Years ago, I don't give a damn on politics in my country. Till today i still don't actually give a damn. But it's really annoying when all these scandals, debates and controversies of the politicians makes the headlines of the daily newspaper. Sometimes i read them, sometimes i don't. In general i don't give a shit but sometimes i find it rather amusing that these politicians are acting like a bunch of kids throwing wild accusations at each other. Like recently i read about a political leader being accused of being in a scandalous relationship and the other political "kids" are forcing him to step out and he just doesn't want to cuz he claims there's nothing going on. Politician caught with their pants down? It's a lil bit too cliche now. Anyway, that's just one issue. Then there are those "special" policies to protect a certain group of people and they did it too much that other group just got plain neglected. I won't elaborate much since i still wanna live my life peacefully. 
You get the picture of how shitty politics can get. There's no point really for these people to fight so much just to "save" their country from corruption and stuffs. Well i think the country already is corrupted the way it is. They scream for justice in the microphone but do they really fight for it when they get to climb up to that position? These people don't really wanna save the country, they just want power and authority to pressure those below them. They aren't really that self-actualized yet. It's easy to spot. If they genuinely wanna help their people, they won't be living in a mansion, driving a mercedes or have their own driver, own huge properties, vacation in Dubai or Macau, cruising in the Caribbean, wearing designer products AND their kids would be driving BMW's to schools, attend expensive international universities and have parties every weekends wearing things from Prada, Versace and so on .
 Instead, if they really have the heart to help others they would wear rags (like Ghandi), travelling in public transportation, hardly ever have a vacation, doing plenty of charity and bla bla bla (as long as its opposite of what i listed above)
Y'see, not most politician are willing to do that. I dare them to travel to those third world country and donate their fortune. Hah! I can bet they don't dare to touch those starving kids in the third world. Instead most charity are done by the normal citizens, one's that are normally insignificant to the politic world, their name unheard of. But imagine what it means to those who receive those helps. I only see the politician doing some stuff when nearing the next election or before a major event. Tsk, that's just the way it really is. It's sad but what can we do? This is human nature.

Sushi Galore~~

I went to this sushi restaurant yesterday cuz they we're having one of their "sushi bonanza" which actually means we get to eat any type of sushi for 2 bucks each a plate on the conveyor belt. Well, it sounds pretty normal to some people right? Nope, to we students, its like a God sent opportunity. So much that they are willing to stand for hours to dine in. I was one of those hardcore students who stood in line for around 2 hours. Lol~~ the line only consist of students, no normal families or non students. Thats just it, they can't fight a students willpower to stand for hours for sushi. So the one's that given up on queuing turned to KFC.

When i finally got in, I took my sweet time savouring every of those usually expensive sushi. One thing i noticed that amused me is the students reaction to the sushi that came out of the kitchen- usually the salmon, eels, fish roe, prawns, soft shell crab, scallops and other more expensive ones. 
Once they pull out trays of them, the students are already waiting at the side, eyeing those poor staff's like a hawk watches it's prey. The minute the staff handed the tray out, these students really grabs it like they haven't eaten for days. Within seconds, the tray was empty. This occurs every time and i really mean EVERY TIME. Each time they do that, i laughed. It's like watching animals in a sushi shop. I sat just in front of the belt so there's no need for me to act like that.
But anyway, that happens only twice a year so it's not everyday i get to see how some people would do for sushi. I make quite a decent sushi myself so meh, not really such a big fan of it. I'm just there with friends.

Bed of lemons

The other day I was just in class discussing about suicide rate among teenagers with my course mates and tutor. We came up with a conclusion. Why kids nowadays think suicide for the slightest reason can solve every problem? The answer? They're too pampered and spoil. Their parents always give in to them since they were young, they never got "NO" for an answer so they think everything will go their way. When they're in society, it doesn't work that way. When things didn't go their way, they'll opt for suicide. That's what the parent of one of the suicide victim said.
Suicide is something that I can confidently say i don't have to worry about. For one thing, I got my family and religion to stop me from doing anything harsh. Second, I think i can rationalize better before thinking about anything rash. Since young, I've been receiving "No" till now. I'm pampered yes but not spoilt.
Now, why am I talking about lemons in the title? Have you ever heard: When life gives you lemon, make lemonade out of it? It's a cliche phrase I know. So yea, I'm saying life always has it's ups and downs. You aren't alive if you don't. I remember a lot about those sad memories. Sometime i think, God is being unfair- always throwing lemons at me. Sometimes I make lemonade from it (to be optimistic and take it easy, make it an advantage), throw it (ignore), squash it (conquer), rub it in my eyes ( be pessimistic and be sad) and i even kept it (hold grudges). Through these bad experience I've learn to be strong and patient. Years and years of mental abuse from the society and trying to live up to their expectation made me act differently from who i really am. I'm not in the middle of an identity crisis but since last night, I've been thinking about who i really am and for what reason I'm working so hard to please others? I must have done something wrong to be treated like this.
I thought I will never break because of the years of lemons. I thought my heart was made of steel- armoured by years and years of lemons. But even the strongest and impenetrable armour can be pierced through with a small and sharp arrow.
Haven't I had enough of lemons? Is it ever going to stop? When will it be honey?
One day I'll write a memoir about my closet full of lemons...

Bad customer service: Endure or not?

I have been through such a tiring day last night. I didn't sleep enough for 2 nights before (I think 3 hours in total, the rest i was just drifting back and forth) so it's surprising that I could keep my eyes open and not be cranky. Here's the deal, I've been met with very unpleasant situations within a day.
First, I went to the train station and asked them about "how frequent was the trip the train makes" in English. I hadn't spoke my national language in 3 years since i started my college, so being so rusty in it I used English, since it's suppose to be the "second" language in the country. The staff there looked at me with a very confused expression, rolled the word "frequent" with his tongue and turned to an older staff and asked "What's frequent?". I almost laughed. For the next couple of minute, the older staff took charge of answering my question. Okay, this i don't mind.
Second case, I wanted to buy tickets for the train and it was during peak hours so the whole place was roaring with noise. I couldn't hear the staff say 4.80 for the ticket so I kept asking him(like 3 times) until he shouted(or roared-more like it) 4.80 in a very rude manner. I was annoyed seriously, I know it's tiring cuz it's peak hour and there are many customers in line and he's tired too but really, is that necessary? Being the calm and patient person I usually am, I let it go.

The third case was the worse, I was prepared to get off the train at my station. When it stopped I saw everyone getting off but the door to my coach isn't open. I thought it will in a few seconds but then I felt the train move. That was when i started to panic and ran for the door to the next coach. By that time it was too late and i was stuck in the train till it reached the final station. There was a boy also who was stuck with me and my friends in that train. He went to tell the conductor and he told us that we can get off at the next station but the next train will be at 3am (it was 9am). I called some acquaintance who knows the area well and they told me not to get off cuz it's a dangerous place during the night. I listened and stayed. When we reach the final stop, the boy insisted on complaining to the train management to pay for our trip back to where we were suppose to get of. (I seriously wanted to just go home cuz i have test the next day & i'm too damn tired and let this go) But he's persistent and hee wanted go go back with us. So i had no choice then.
After a few attempts of negotiating with the top dog, one of the woman employee came out and started talking very rude to us, saying that it was technical problem so we can't blame then and expect them to pay AND we should have gotten off at the next stop cuz they'll definitely find a way to bring us back. I let the boy did all the talking since it wasn't necessary for me. Since she was so rude, the boy lost his temper and shouted back at her to talk politely. Her boyfriend (who i suspect was a security guard there-he wasn't wearing uniform tho) was nearby and he heard AND you know what comes next. Of course the need to feel defensive was there (the girlfriend was then playing the nice girl, trying to pull him away) and the boy and that man shouted at each other till they finally looked like they were going to punch each other THEN i stepped in and explained why we didn't want to get off the next station, adding that we were unfamiliar to the place. They calmed down and the girl agreed to talk to her boss again. It took another hour to sort this matter and when she finally came out looking teary, she told us the management agreed to pay 3/4 of the cost to get back with a cab. (I told her on the way that they have two options, pay 180 or 48 since i got two ways of getting back- they chose the cheaper one of course). When they were talking to the cab driver, the woman turned to us and apologized for losing her cool and she bla bla bla (I feel kinda sympathetic for her cuz it really wasn't her fault and the management was scolding her and the boy was pressuring her and studying organisation psychology made me more understanding of her position) Her boyfriend was standing somewhere close like a hawk to be ready to jump into a fight when he was needed. But of course he wasn't needed, we were just all tired and we got no willpower to turn this into a bloodshed. The bloody journey to the final station took us 2 bloody hours so of course i just want to crawl back home and take a nice warm shower and get to bed.
In the end i got home 30 minutes before midnight and I just couldn't care less about studying for my test and went to bed, wet hair and all. The 2 sleepless night and tiredness of the day finally caught up with me.


So yeah, that was my experience with bad customer services in a day. I heard from some friends that the train company I was using has really bad customer service since a long long time ago. For the last case, we might need to travel back using our own money which was totally unnecessary if we were to get off at the right station and living with a scarce student fund make it impossible for me. I am really patient when dealing with these situation but there are times when i get annoyed too. If someone were to be in my position, would they have endured this kinda treatment? I know what some of my friends would do and it's not going to be pretty, that staff's pretty face might get ripped off. And i also know some of people would just let go. But that's unfair isn't it? It wasn't our fault. If we don't do anything about it, this would happen all over again and they wouldn't feel any remorse. So to endure or not? Yesterday I endured two times but the last we didn't. At times there are need to endure and there are times we can NOT endure, we just need to evaluate the situation ourselves. Is there any need?
 I hope i won't have to face this kinda situation ever again, I'm too tired to go through it all over again.