Short Story: The Bracelet

There was once a lovely young couple who were madly in love with each other. They would sneak out at night and take walks along the riverbanks, enveloped in each other and totally absorbed in their own world. He loved her so much, he would climbed the highest mountain and fight the fiercest sea's. She in turn would do anything for him, even preparing to give him her life. When he was out of town, they felt like they were worlds apart. She would sit by her window every night, looking and praying for his safe return. Then once he did, the first thing he would do was to find her and present her with the most beautiful flower. But as he told her once, no flowers can be compared to her beauty.
There's just one problem for them. Their statuses were a world apart. He was the son of a politician and she was just the daughter of a blacksmith. His parent's resented the thought of having a poor peasant to be their daughter in law, they did everything to break their relationship. Being in the Victorian era, the man was to marry his own cousin, a vile and vain young woman. Despite that fact, he was determine to make her his bride. He promised, no matter what it takes, he will return to her.
 Finally, he was prepared to face his parents disapproval and propose to her. Since he could not gain his mother's inherited ring, he decided to custom make a bracelet as an engagement present. However tragedy struck when he was making his way back from the jeweller. He fell down a steep hill and suffered serious injuries including brain damage.
When he regained consciousness, he lost his memories. He couldn't remember anyone including his beloved but miraculously, he remembered that there was someone very important to him. He questioned everyone in his family and his vile cousin took advantage of his situation to claim that she was his lover. He was skeptical but since everyone was telling him that, he believed them. 
The girl heard of his accident and was so worried, she fell ill for days. To make matters worse, she heard that her love had forgotten about her. Her world was now plunged into despair. Every attempt to reunite with her lover was stopped by her parents and his family. When his family announced his wedding to his cousin, her heart stopped beating. She has lost hope on everything and wanted to jumped into the sea.
Meanwhile, he waited for the days that leads up to his wedding to his cousin. He couldn't help but feel nervous and worried about what he had forgotten. Occasionally, a odd girl would try to enter his family grounds and calling his name. She was usually removed before he can talk to her. When questioned her identity, his family claimed the girl was mad. He did not ponder at first but when she started sneaking in at night, his suspicions grew. One night, he finally manage to ask her name before the guard caught her.
'It's me! Beatrice, your love! Why don't you remember me?!'
That information shocked him, yet a warmth feeling crept into his heart. Then the girl stop showing up. The feeling that something was lost was eating him and he couldn't shake it off. He decided to take a stroll down the street.
The jeweller saw the young man and rushed to him. 'Sir Reginald, your bracelet is done. When do you want to pick it up?'
Curious as to when he ordered a bracelet made, he enquired about it. The jeweller told him he made it before his accident and that it was made specially for someone he loved dearly. He asked if it was Lisbeth, his cousin, the jeweller looks lost. He ordered it sent to him by evening.
The parcel containing the bracelet was send to his home without the knowledge of anyone in the family and he opened it. Inside a box, a shiny new gold bracelet encrusted with emerald, nestled in silk. He took it gently out of the box and examined it under the dim light of his room.
There shone brighter than the fire was the words 'To Beatrice, my love, my life'. Then he remembered. Every details that leading up to his accident. His lost love, the empty feeling was Beatrice. 
Without wasting time, he ran in search of the girl and found her perched on the rocks near the sea. Their reunion was sweet. Like finding water in a dessert. 
On his supposed wedding day to Lisbeth, he presented the bracelet to Beatrice and they eloped far far away where they lived happily together forever. 

Art by my best friend Karen/Chaco Karr

Song dedication: My Wish by Rascal Flatts

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,

And each road leads you where you want to go,

And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,

I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,

If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,

All the ones who love you, in the place you left,

I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,

And you help somebody every chance you get,

Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,

And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,

You never need to carry more than you can hold,

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish

I hope you know somebody loves you

May all your dreams stay big

* A wonderful song that you can dedicate to friends, lovers and families. The lyrics are really meaningful and touching. I dedicate this song to my best friend, i pray she can get through all her troubles and challenges. And i hope she always know that she's not alone~ I love you Karen. Be strong!

Parenting Criminals: How it all started

Recently i did an exhibition on Criminal Psychology and for that i had to read this whole book on the criminals of the world. Reading the crimes that these psycho had committed is really disturbing. The emotions i felt during the time i was reading was just those of the negative feelings - appalled, disgusted, hate, sympathy for the victims and family etc. Once thing that actually intrigues me is history of those criminals. While some of these psychopath developed their sick thinking along the way in life, some developed it since young. Some are like that because of Schizophrenia. There are many medical terms to describe why they are like that. But in the end, I actually felt a pang of sympathy towards them. Why? It all starts from family upbringing. Good family environment and good parenting are really important for a child's development. If they are lacking of  this aspect in growing up, you'll be sure that trouble will be brewing.

 I read that most of the criminals who committed hideous crimes such as Jack the Ripper and Andrei Chikatilo, grew up without parents love and care. So because of this, they hated women. In the case of the Chikatilo, his mother beat him if he peed his pants. Now, she didnt consider that he was just a child and he actually had a disorder that caused him to have lack of control over his bladder. If only his mother didn't act like that and showed him enough care and forgiveness, many woman and man would have been alive. 

As parents, children depends a lot on them. They learn to trust, love and behave through parents guidance. If they failed to show those necessary steps to their child, the child will grow up lacking faith in humanity. They can't trust anyone and think everyone hate's them, so it drives them to kill those they thought who despised them. They can't love if they have never been shown love. If all their life, their parents hated them, then hate is all they are capable of. Even if they don't start murdering people, they are bound to have attitude problems for example anger issues, social withdrawal or other behaviour counter to the norms.

Some modern families nowadays are really (lets face it) dysfunctional. They live their life as they want, being drama queens, imagining they are the heroes in a Hollywood movies and thinking everything will be fine. Like the Kardashians. Of course they love their life as it is now but they never thought of the impending future. The kids would be affecting greatly. I'm talking about Ted Bundy's life. He grew up thinking his mother was his sister. I wouldn't be surprised he went berserk after knowing it. Parent's remarrying and remarrying again, divorces, parents neglecting their duties, partying enjoying life or working and forgetting about their kids, these are bad, VERY bad examples of parenting. The best that can come out of it is the child following their parents footsteps, then again it always ends bad. The child would either trying to do crazy things to grab their parent's attention or they might vent out their anger on innocent people, namely, murdering. Robbing, drugs, violence, it's all part of the smaller picture of a child capability to do even more horrible crimes.

So the Kardashians think they are capable of raising a kid in this kinda environment? Well, go ahead. I see a future where they're kids are spoilt brats, attention seekers and spending money like its dirt.

Bullying, teasing and criticizing, these are enough to make someone go crazy too. Friends are an important factor that can also influence their thinking, take the "Chicago Rippers" for example. Those are friend influence. I also noticed that these criminals actually have a reasonably high IQ, they actually attended Universities. So why did they turn into monsters?

I can't fully understand why these people act that way. As students studying psychology, all we can do is try to understand why. Well till now, this is all i can derive.
In conclusion, people, if u want to be parents please make sure you really do a good job or else don't be parents at all. If you want to know more about Serial killers or criminal behaviour, you can watch Criminal Minds or read the book i read "Evil Beyond Belief" by Charlotte Greig and John Marlowe. CSI, NCIS and other show, they focus more on the general crimes and not serial killers. So criminal minds are recommended. Imagine this, the show is fake but there are real crimes like this and it didnt just end with 5 victims. Some goes up to 600 victims (Elizabeth Bathory). 

"Let's just be friends"

Ever heard this phrase? "Lets just be friends". I think its pretty common for people who are breaking up or being rejected when confessing. Well, the truth is, there is no such thing as "Lets just be friends" in a romantic relationship. This four words, once uttered, are relationship killers. There are cases where some ex lovers can still remain friends after a breakup though the chances of rekindling the romance are likely. And there are chances some people can still be friends with the person who once confessed that they like them.
But we can't deny the awkwardness that follows after the words "Lets just be friends" are spoken.

I'll take myself as an example, the guy i confessed (7 years ago) to told me "Can we just stay friends?" Although i say yes, its totally different after the incident. You cant look each other in the eye, talk, work together without feeling that awkward moment. So after a while, i took the step to stay away from that guy and he did the same. Ex-es too, you cant just treat them like friends after having such an intimate relationship in the past.

That's why its normal for two person to drift apart after telling either one "Let's just be friends". Human are egoistical creatures, we want to preserve our pride. I am no exception, i admit my pride is wounded. And seeing that guy just makes it worse. So why should i stick around and be reminded of the pain of being rejected. It is a form of rejection! 
So when someone says that, it automatically means you should stay away from them after that. Trust me, it'll save both of you much unwanted awkwardness and troubles. Everyone doesn't want to be in the friend zone with someone they like, i understand. So before you decide to confess to someone you like, make sure she or he is really interested. You might just save yourself the embarrassment and awkwardness.

Still too young?

What's up with some actors and actresses taking on roles not suitable for their age? They're like running before they even learned to walk. I get it, they wanna shed their young image and go for mature roles but seriously, they just don't look good. I take for example, Daniel Radcliffe and Zac Efron. Both of them had taken on very mature roles, romancing much older actresses like Nicole Kidman, being a stepfather/father. I found it very ridiculous to see Daniel with a moustache. It's like a kid wearing their father's clothes. 

That's just how it is, they have a baby face and they can't shrug off their Harry Potter & High school musical images. I mean c'mon, appreciate what you have.  A nice face? Act in something more age appropriate. Like Steven strait, he was 20 over when he acted as a high schooler in Sky high and The covenant. I don't mind, i loved him. Zac efron is still okay, shifting between mature and less mature roles. But daniel is like full on taking adult roles. 

Try imagining this, uh... ok how about imagine uh.... Daniel Craig as a high school boy. It's like that to me. I mean we all know daniel craig wouldn't fit as a high schooler cuz he has already established a tough image to begin with. Those who started with Nickelodeon, it's hard to shake off the Disney kid images. Not that i don't admire their determination to shake off that image. Still~ tsk, it's hard to watch. 

No i'm not a fan of Zac and Daniel.

Short story: Warm heart

The rain showered outside a cold winter day. Everything was frozen stiff; even the trees were frozen. She stared out of the window, watching the rain, waiting and waiting. It’s so cold and she shivered involuntarily, hugging her sweater close to her. The fireplace cackled, she turned and saw the fire dying down. Instead of throwing more logs into it, she turned towards the room.

Stepping into the bathroom naked, she felt the icy chill shot up her spine like someone injected a needle straight into her bones. She ran into the shower and turned it on. She waited as the initial cold of the water flowed before warm water started to come out. She turned the level to maximum. The first wave of scorching water was welcoming as it hit her back. She felt the pleasant feeling of her body relaxing, accepting the warmth. The shower filled with mist as she bathed. But she was still cold, her heart cold. She’s still waiting, missing that someone that will fill her.

Drying her hair, she walked into the empty living room in her warmest cashmere sweater and wool scarf. More logs were thrown into the fireplace and she warmed the dinner in the microwave. She sat quietly in front of the fireplace, staring at the fiery flames as it licks up the log in its fire. Waiting.

A flash of lights through her window and she looks up expectedly. She listens as footsteps approach her front door. The light rap at her door made her smiled and she went to open it. He stood there with a big smile and she buried herself in his embrace. Warmth spreads to her cold heart and she is filled. 

Nice guy/Innocent man characters: Spoilers alert!

I've already talked about the plot for Nice guy so a little recap, Kang Maru took the fall for a murder he didn't commit, to protect his girlfriend Han Jae Hee whom he loved with all his heart, only to be betrayed by her upon his released. So he used her stepdaughter Seo Eun Gi, to get back at her. And well, as you know all korean drama, he fell for Eun Gi instead.
Some characters inside are so confusing. I don't really know if i should pity them or love them or hate them.
For the case of Kang Maru, i love and pity this guy. Poor guy, he's been framed all the time. Misunderstood, betrayed, framed etc. You just have to wonder what did he do in the past that made him had such a rough life. To taking care of his very ill sister to being accused of murder. He is one unlucky man to have met some people in life. Maru is very protected of the one he loves and it just makes me curl my toes in excitement when he goes to save/find Eun Gi. And sometime you wanna punch him for acting like a jerk. He loves to take the blame for things he didn't do. Sadist~ But he's a great character. Gorgeous smile (compliments to the actor)~ ;) 

Kang Maru & Seo Eun Gi

For Seo Eun Gi, you just have to wonder why she had to be so arrogant, rude and heartless in the beginning. Really! She's so bitchy but well, there is a reason after all. She was forced to be like that by her father. Geez, her father, i don't even know if he's really her father. Biologically yes he is but he is ruthless towards his own daughter. I feel like strangling. no compliments, no affections, no emotions, nothing towards Eun gi. He even kicked her out and threatened to take her name out from the inheritance. So back to Eun Gi, she has a bad personality but there's one thing that i really love about her. She doesn't jump to conclusions all the time, unlike other protagonist. She listens to what the person has to say, observe, think rationally. After hearing about Maru, she didn't flip out. She calmly let him say what he has to say. Then she can make her own judgements. I really love this side of her.

Jae Hee

 Jae Hee, i hate her, i pity her. She had a rough start in life. Yeah, she's a bitch throughout the story but i still pity her at times. Her brother deserves to be in hell. She still loves Maru but she's so dumb. She doesn't think. I feel bad for her when Eun Gi was blatantly criticising her, showing her disapproval of Jae hee and her son. Jae Hee still has a heart surprisingly, she said she'll care for Eun Gi even when there's no reason to. If Eun gi was a little better towards her, it might not have been that bad. But she's still evil.

Laywer Ahn

Ahn Min Young- Han Jae Hee's lawyer minion who is so deeply in love with her he betrayed everyone. He turns out to be the story's biggest badass. Of course i see that coming. Geez.. a man can really do anything for love. He was the reason Eun Gi almost died, he's the reason Eun Gi's father died, he was the reason Maru was always misunderstood and in danger. I'd shoot him (his character) if i had a gun.

Attorney Park

Park Joon Ha- aww~~ hot, sweet attorney to Eun Gi. He really plays his character well. And he has the poor looks too. Don't get the girl but tries to help her as much as he can. He's protective, gentle, hot, kind and smart. What's there not to like about this guy? XD He'd sacrifice himself for her. Too bad Eun Gi only has eyes for Maru. :p

Jae Gil & Choco

Jae Gil- Maru's best friend. He's a bit stupid but very nice guy. Protectiv and caring brother to Maru's sister though he's not her real brother. Loyal, VERY loyal friend. Funny guy.
Kang Choco- Maru's sister. Sweet and kind. Loveable. She has a huge crush on Jae Shik.

Han Jae Shik- Rot in hell!!! He should be thrown into the pits of Hades. Totally useless person, total EVIL. Double headed snake~ you get the pic. He'll turn to anyone who gives him more benefits. I really hate him. I shoot him a thousand times more than Ahn Min Young. 

SME units

Is it just me, or do anyone notices how similar all the songs sang by SM Entertainment unit sounds. I mean really, don't anyone notice. I can't even differentiate who is singing the song cuz the melody sounds the same, the voice also sounds the same and the dances moves are really similar to some of it. Ok, it is original i guess, from them. And they are reusing and repeating the same thing all over again. Auto tuned voice, trashy dance moves, chorus all the same. Nothing is new, so i get bored really easily. The only one i don't get bored is BoA. She's good.
Don't believe me? Check out most of their boy band group's songs, at least some part of the melody and taken from some songs from their previous albums or other group albums. Super Junior, Exo K, DBSK, Shinee, Younique et. . These are just some of groups i noticed using the same melody. So SME is famous for their dancing, that i don't care. It's the songs. I notice super junior using plenty of their previous song to recreate a modified one and debut as a new album. Another way to rip off more money from dumb fans who doesn't notice it. 

Why decided to say this? Cuz i listen to their one of their unit's new song Maxstep by Younique unit. It reminded me SOOOOOOO MUCH of dbsk's songs. I mean when the other 3 member of DBSK were still with them, the songs weren't so standard. Now just with the two of them, it sounded all the same. Boring~~~~

Envy or Gratefulness?

I spend most of the time battling between these two conflicting emotions-being grateful or being envious. One is a positive emotion, the other a negative emotion. I was bored a while ago, so i decided to visit some of my old classmate's from primary school right till end of high school's facebook page. Well, just out of curiosity. I wanted to know how their life is now, how different it is from me.

 I saw many living lifestyle's that i would never have imagine them taking. Some married and building a family (i mean why? they're still so young and yet they chose this path. To give up the chance for a better shot of success in life. I just don't get it), some pursuing their dreams, studying in colleges, working. But what really brings me to my topic is the mixed feelings i get looking at their pictures, happily studying at overseas (something i really wanted to and yet can't). That emotion kinda constricted me.

I am really envious, they get to study somewhere they really want and be happy about it. While i'm stuck here in a local university, my dreams are not here but there. They say the grass is greener on the other side, i believe so. So what i'm doing here? Eating sour grapes, feeling bitter. 

But i can't be like this. Those people, they can afford it. I'm living on my parent's money to study here, i can't afford to dream big. We can't afford it. So i tell myself everyday how lucky i am to be here, to have a chance to receive tertiary education that some can't even afford. For that i feel grateful. I am grateful for all the sacrifices my parent's made for me in order for me to be here. 

Those classmates studying overseas, they have an easy head start in life. I might need to do some extra work in order to get to where i want to be.  I guess i just have to work for it, my dreams. Although envious, it doesn't really bother anymore that those people are there. They have their way of life, i have mine. We're different people, why should we be doing the same things?

I should be grateful. If i got the opportunity to study oversea's earlier on, i might not even meet my friends now. It's sad. I never knew the true meaning of friendship until i was 16 years old. That's why i don't call anyone i met before i was 16 a friend. Cuz that's what they aren't.

I will get there someday and i want myself to be able to lift my head high and say i worked for it. I achieve my dreams on my own. Till then, i should continue to be grateful. Where i am now, is a ladder for me to reach where i want to be.

Quote of the day

"Do I have to have her? If I love someone, do I have to have them?" - Park Joon Ha (Nice guy/Innocent man)

Man you gotta love this guy~ I know I do. He's undeniably hot, charismatic, smart, gentle and kind. The poor guy who wouldn't get the girl but will still care for her from afar, silently supporting her.
I find this quote really meaningful. In life we can't get everything we want, of course we try the best to get it but what's never meant to be yours will never be yours. So is it a must to have someone or something you love? His answer is not really and I couldn't agree more with him.

To know real personality of celebrities

Don't let tabloid fool you about celebrities behavior! Of course in front of the camera, celebrities know better than to misbehave unless they want to be famous for the wrong reason. I mean, yeah, there's plenty of celebrities who gain publicity through doing stupid stuff. (I'm pretty sure Kristen Steward scandal was a publicity stunt). Do you notice mostly their bad/true behavior's are only known when photo's were leaked, videos were taken secretly, observation from public. oh yes, the only way to know if that person is really who they are on camera, is (i suggest) watch reality TV show. 

Just showing a picture of the drama queens

Even if it's on camera, you can try to act as fake and nice as you want. But prolong exposure can make you forget you're on camera and there, the true colors of the person shows. Be it swearing and cursing, tongue slips, mischievios acts..... you will see and judge it for yourself. Then you decide whether you really like/admire/idolize/love them or not. For example, Keeping Up with the Kardashians. ugh~~ i hate those bitches. They over exaggerate things, fake everything and they act so innocently when facing the public. Yeah right~~ That's why i don't watch them at all, i just wonder why my mom and sis does.
Guys, they can be so charming in this industry but don't let them fool you. Before you fall head over heels for them, think carefully. Again, watch shows! Why? i'll give you reason why.
Lets take for example, korean stars (hot aren't they?) Jung yong hwa-CN blue, Nickhun-2PM and JoKwon-2AM. I watch them on the "We got married" show where they pretend to be married to another celeb (girls of course). Through the show, you see how they interact with each other and I can conclude many things just by observing. Observation! It's powerful. Though it might sometimes be inaccurate but well, i think it's one of the most useful tool. 
What i deduce? I can see that Jung yong hwa might be a really good friend, he pretty much doesn't suit to be a boyfriend. He's the kind that enjoys power and I can see he wants his way at things. He can serenade you into loving him them he'll be cold and sarcastic once you're hook to him. And he's not really romantic or his idea of romantic really doesn't work on girls.

Top: JoKwon & Ga In
Middle: Victoria & Nickhun 
 Bottom: Yong hwa & Seohyun

Then there's JoKwon, he's once hell of a fun guy to hang out with. Great friend, considerate, fun, and he's lovable. Girls might like him as friends but not really as a boyfriend.(or he's just not my type, too skinny). He's too shy at times it's unbearable. He is romantic but a little stingy, girlfriends shouldn't expect too much from him. He won't splurge until he's sure. i absolutely love his episode cuz it guarantee lots of laughter and "aww" moments.
For Nickhun, okay, he's really a romantic guy. He's every girls dream guy. Kind, considerate, cute, helpful, generous, romantic, fun... oh the list goes on. This guy shouldn't have any problem serenading a girl, those dimples are to die for. I enjoy watching his episodes and not to mention, plenty of "aww" moments too.

It's not easy to know a person in and out. What you see is how they react to public in general, to know even more, you need to go into a deeper level like friends. That's when they open up bit by bit. Think of it as peeling an onion, it goes from layer to layer. That's how we really know the person, peel their mask. Sometimes good looks are deceiving, write that down.

Some problem with Korean drama

Recently i'm kinda obsessed with the korean drama "Innocent man". I must say, they really portrayed the characters so real until i feel like choking the real actress and actor for being so evil. And Damn! song joong ki is just so handsome. Tsk~

But anyway, along the drama i've notice some mistakes. I'm not saying its just them, i also see repeated mistakes in other drama. First, the phone model. Sure, Samsung LOVES to promote their new phone in korean drama's and in this case it's the Galaxy S3. As we all know Samsung tends to come out with new models oh so frequently. So why is the actors inside still using the S3 after fast forwarding few years into the future? Don't most people already change to a newer model by then?

And the second problem... tsk, all the characters use the exact same freaking phone. It's only differences in colour but well, samsung aren't famous for their different coloured phones except Corby. So i see mostly white, blue or black in the drama. I'm not just saying Samsung, i noticed that in drama's using Sony phones too. Plus, oh they just love showing their phone features. Well, that's what we call product placement. meh.

Third, the oh so predictable endings at times. I can even be a director if you allow me to. <oh but don't worry i won't> Which is why i only choose specific drama's to watch. The plot sometimes starts with a bang then ends with a whimper, i mean WHAT? it suppose to be the other way round. And i really hate it when the ending sounds promising then it ended up tragically different. Geez!!!

Anyway, this is just the few problems i found irritating. There are many more but it doesn't bother me that much. Innocent man is a great drama to me, good looking cast and a nice plot. I feel bad for Song joong ki's character, always getting misunderstood. And oh my, the attorney inside <drools>... I mean the younger one<glare> lee sang yeob~~~ gosh, he is HOT!! So if you're a fan of twisted plots or dramatic turns then i guess this drama is recommended. Tho i warn you, you REALLY do wanna kill some characters inside. I don't know if it's a compliment or not. :/ It's still airing and i can't freakin wait  for the ending. >XD

Pheromones

I have no idea why some guys can just attract so many girls even tho they don't have much redeeming qualities. Years ago, i was also attracted by this one guy that is cold, unromantic, short and hunching guy who loves basketball. And he had LOADS of girls going after him tho he has eyes for only one girl who doesn't even care about him. Mind you, it took me few years to fully forget about him. But what i'm saying is, he really isn't a great guy when i sit down and think rationally. I'm pretty sure he's not even a good boyfriend candidate. So the issue, WHY? what do they have that makes them so popular among girls even when they're not really that good looking. I think its the pheromones.They reek of it.
I know a few guys who are like this. They're not handsome, overweight, shy? i guess, romantic? so and so, funny? nope!, kind? i guess. I don't know what's it with them. 
Anyway, they're very normal looking guy who we usually just look once and don't forget their faces and YET they have plenty of girls interested in them, some willing to do ridiculous stuff just to get their attention. Why? That's always the question in my mind, Why? Ok, i admit, when i get too close to their radar, I also start acting like those shy giggly teenage girls. Its like being in a spell when you go near them, but luckily i regained my sanity and stayed far far away from those guys. So i've been safe till now.
I tell ya, it's the pheromones working. Some girls have them too, tho i see most cases in guys. 
Tell me you've met people like this too, i don't want to be the only one with this problem... <cringe>

15&: I dream

I guess some people don't really know about them~ A brief introduction for these lovely girls.  They joined JYPE and the duo consist of "Survival K-Pop Star", Park Jimin and Baek Yerin. Recently they debut as a duo with their first single "I dream" and let me just tell ya, this song is packed with a bang.
Both of them are decent in looks and not stick thin models but their voice certainly is powerful enough to stand out as some of the korean elites who actually sings (believe me, most korean girls from girl groups only depends on the pretty face and figure to earn the bucks. They are talentless in singing! - true story). I see 15& as a future korean version of Adele. Just listening to the song you'll see how good they are. Just love the song~~ :)

Short story: The Vampiress

The young hunter’s heart pounded against his chest as he waited. The rain was hammering down on him mercilessly but he has a job to do. His eyes searched the shadows for her. As promised, she turned up at their appointed time. Her hair, as dark as night, was dripping wet as she stood and watched him. Dressed in sleek black suit, her porcelain skin and slender body was hard to miss. She glided towards him gracefully and he watched her.

‘You kept your promise,’ he told her as she eyed him carefully. The lightning flashed and her eyes shone with a brilliant electric blue, the genuine eyes of a vampire. On a rainy day like this, the human hunter smelled so appealing and she had to stop herself from pouncing on him. Like him, she had a mission too.

‘I couldn’t break a promise that was set by you, Adam.  Now, what can I do for you, I assume you have some business with me?' she whispered, her gaze seductive to the human eyes.

The hunter tensed, he shouldn’t be doing this. The stake in his pocket burn but he ignored it. He gazed longingly at her because as much as it was forbidden, he fell in love with a creature of the night. Bred by his parents to be vampire hunter since young, he broke the absolute law.

‘What are you?’ he asked, knowing the answer.

‘I trust you already know, since you had that stake prepared in your pocket,’ she answered. ‘Tell me, what are you waiting for? You want me dead don’t you?’ she asked accusingly, her eyes suddenly turned dark and menacing. She felt threatened and it was her instinct to fight. However this boy looks quite scared and confused.

‘I don’t want to kill you,’ he whispered. ‘I love you, I trust you. You’re not like the other bloodsuckers’.

‘Hah!’ she mocked. ‘Boy, you make a wrong move trusting a vampire, don’t you know we can’t always be trusted?’ she questioned amusingly.

‘No, I trust you’ he insisted. Surprisingly she smiled and leaned into his arms.

She trailed her fingers across his chest up to his face and held his eyes. Gently, she kissed him softly on the lips. The human scent overwhelmed her and she breathed in the rich aroma. Venom filled her mouth. Licking down his throat, she whispered, ‘We shall see about that’. Baring her pearly white fangs, she sank her canines deep into his veins

You're no fit as a hunter my boy, she thought as she let the venom flow into the human body.

Lovely surprise

Believe me when I say I never gotten a surprise birthday party before. Every time I had to give subtle hints about my birthday and it spoils the fun y'know. So my birthday is coming up in 5 days and I never give much thought about it. 
I invited few friends out today with a motive to give one of them their belated birthday present instead I've been given the surprise instead. After dinner they showed up with cakes and a birthday present. Never did I  anticipated this so nevertheless I was really touched~ 
It does add up to my wonderful memories in University so thank you my dear friends, you've given me a wonderful memory to cherish. Lots of Love~ 

Somebody to love

I was just listening through my old songs and i just really listened to the lyrics from Somebody to love by Anne Hathaway from "Ella Enchanted". Ironically, it suits my situation really well right now. The part where she sang 

"Take a look in the mirror and cry, Lord, what ya doing to me. 
I've spent all my years believing in you, but I just can't get no relief. 
Lord, somebody, somebody, can anybody find me, somebody to love."

 It's so sad when i think about it. I'm turning the big 20 in a week and still I never found someone to love (as in romantically) Sure i have family, friends, pets and other objects to love but it's all in a different kind of love.   Being a hopeless romantic person in nature (actually from reading all the fairy tale love novels), I also wish to find someone to love someday. And I've been holding on to that belief for years, yearning for the day I can actually experience this "heavenly" feeling (as how my inconsiderate happily in love friends would put it).
It's unpleasant to be the odd one out during valentines =.=
See, it's also bad to be so critically studying the types of love in psychology. I learn to be not content with just the normal love for parents and friends. I want to experience all kind of love. So far I did experience all except romantic ones.
So i've been waiting for years and asking God the same question all the time "Why? What are you waiting for?". Can it be my fault? Or is my cupid lazing off somewhere? Anyway, i'm still waiting hoping that the someday will come soon.

Coincidently mixed up

Found this on google, pretty~~~

I don't know how to say this. Sometime, we plan things according to what we want but as we grow older, we change the plan or adjust it, then add in reality and there are major changes to your original plan. I don't know if it's suppose to be like this as a way of discovering what you really want or just messed up. 
I think of how my plan works out since young as mixed up and i guess it's fated. Lemme tell you, what I dream of becoming is totally different from what I will be right now. When I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a lawyer cuz it's cool. I lived on that dream for years, then a grew out of it and I wanted to be a veterinarian cuz I love cute little animals (of course my innocent young mind hadn't thought of the possibilities of sticking my hand into cow ass and treating snakes or lizards). For a while when I was in my early teens, I have no idea what do I wanna be. They ask me what do I want to be and I just gave them my old answer-lawyer. I didn't want to be a lawyer anymore, then. For sometime I changed my mind A LOT. Seriously a lot- actress, pilot, nurse, marine biologist, meteorologist, astronaut etc.
Then it came to the decision of college entrance as I'm going to sit for the public exams. So being clueless to what I want, I gave my parents the authority to choose my path and they're really realistic. Accountancy, Engineering, Teacher or even a my parents own personal maid =.= (with the condition that I failed my exams horribly and i can't earn a living for myself) That was one pretty hilarious choice but I know deep inside they wouldn't have chosen that for me and would make sure I wouldn't go down that path.
Anyway, I thought about accountancy and I was like 'Ok, if that's what makes you happy.' Then I realize, accountancy needs math skills, something I am horribly bad at. It's a good thing I was old enough, cognitively advanced enough to think about the consequences then cuz I would have hated my life now. Anyway, I rejected all their ideas in the end, oh, I did consider teaching. I even applied for public university in education. But growing up, I've heard and experience the horror of teaching kids nowadays so THANK GOD, i didn't get accepted. My fate wasn't teaching, THANK GOD!!!
But i was really desperate cuz the results are out and I did better than my parents expectation. It's average but meh, its considered very good. My personality, hmm, I'm helpful though an introvert from being bullied in school (thank so much you bitches, you ruined me) Anyway, since I'm good at the service department, I choose hospitality management. I really did wanted it then, I liked the idea of being a hotelier. So, my parents was also okay with it though we all know the possible challenges in the future. We went to talks, open days, gather everything we can about this course and the only thing remaining is finding the suitable college to enter. My parents think i wont be able to live alone so they chose one closest to home.
The funny thing is, though I was so enthusiastic about entering college and studying hospitality management, I had the nagging feeling that something isn't right. It's such a subtle feeling that I ignored it. The week before I was suppose to register in the college for that course, I heard that a good friend of mine chose to register at a private university at the total opposite my home town. Somehow something just made me change my mind about studying hospitality in college near home. I realized that all those times, going through the education fair, I didn't even glance at that university and yet I chose to go to this university at the last moment (it's really a last moment, few weeks before the starting semester) My friend of course, encouraged me to go. I looked through the courses offered and somehow Psychology just really attracts my attention and I was thinking if i'm going to go there, I won't change my mind no matter what. Within few weeks and fed-exing, I completed the procedures to enter my current university majoring in Psychology.
What I'm trying to say here, from lawyer to veterinarian to hospitality management, All from different field. I never ever thought about being a psychology major but here I am studying it. I got a offer from a public university while I was halfway doing pre-u in my current university, it took me a long time to decided whether i should accept it. My mom wanted me to cuz the tuition fee is certainly lower than a private University. But i chose to stay and I never regretted my decision.
I'm fascinated by how things works in my life, it sounds mixed up right? but no, I ended up enjoying my life here, studying happily despite the heavy workload of assignments,presentations and exams but hey, everyone has to face this in tertiary education. How my original plan was diverted so far out that the past dreams are like fading shadows. That got me into thinking about God's plan for everyone's life, did he purposely make me take this road? Was it just coincidently or was it already mapped out for me by God?
Was it really just a coincident that I decided to stupidly enter the wrong class on the first day of University and ended up meeting one of my best friend now?
Was it a coincident that I applied for teaching college and I got turned down?
Things happen for a reason, as I've been told and studying so far. I really do believe this.
Next my plan is to be an author and i believe this I can achieve. It's not like I make it a full time job so it's always possible.
So, think about it. Is everything that happened in your life a coincidence? Or it's planned so that you achieve what you are suppose to achieve?
I'm still waiting for the day when I'll make full use of my patience from being bullied and waiting for the right guy to come along. So far I'm still practising my patience for the latter cuz that's just how it is, my bad luck on men. Well, that's not really the point. But seriously, my grandma has been pestering me about it and due to her alzheimer she even made me an imaginative doctor boyfriend. =.= Cute but not helping at all. 

Special A Fanfiction: A word from the author

                              

This is a made up story about the continuation of the anime Special A. If you read it, you'll see that the story revolves around Tsuji Ryuu (one of the original S.A). I noticed that in the anime, he's the only one without a mate at the end of the anime. But on further research, i found out that in the manga he does in fact has a mate. So, rather than forgetting about this idea, i decided to write this while the idea is still fresh in my mind.
I tried to add in the original characters as much as possible but most importantly I focus on Ryuu and Ayano.
I hope you'll like it, please don't hate me for writing another extra character to replace the original story. As i mentioned, this is just a fan fiction. If there's any feedback please feel free to comment, I appreciate some feedbacks on my writing skills. Thanks~

Special A Fanfiction: Part 11 (Epilogue)

The greenhouse looks serene from outside, inside it’s a totally different scene. Three weeks has passed since the night of the barbeque. Kei had noticed that Ryuu and Ayano hasn’t return even when the bonfire had started long ago, so he sent out a search party. They found them snuggled in each other’s arms on the beach. Ryuu looking his worst but he looks happy. Instead of thanking them for finding them, both of them were rather annoyed by the disturbance on their reunion.

Ryuu hobbled his way up to the greenhouse, gleeful that after three long weeks of recuperation at home, he was finally allowed to attend class. He still limps a little from his broken leg but the other part of him was fine. He looked up and smiled at the familiar face standing at the door, waiting for him.

They made their way to the group, stealing shy glances at each other. Ayano looked up at the group of people in front of them. Jun and Megumi conversing with the help of Megumi’s sketchpad, Akira abusing Tadashi as usual for hogging up the snacks and lastly at Hikari and Kei, who were still bickering over who will aced the next exams. This scene she has already gotten used to and she would like it to stay as it is.

Ryuu took her hands as they reached them, all of their classmates beamed down at Ryuu and Ayano welcomingly. She looked Ryuu, finally she can stay in a place where she really belonged, next to the man she loves who smiling lovingly at her. She feels at home. Taking her seat on the couch, she happily accepts her position as the eight member of Special A in Hakusenkan.

Special A Fanfiction: Part 10

She winced at her throbbing head, it felt like splitting open. Ayano opened her eyes, her sight blurry but slowly adjusting to the surrounding. What had just happen? She wondered. She looked up at the edge where she just fallen over then she moved her arms. A groan came out under her and she looked down and gasped.

Ryuu looked badly injured, a gash opened up near his forehead and scratches all over his arms and face were bleeding. Most of all, she noticed how his arms wrapped protectively around her body, shielding her from the impact of the fall. Ayano hurriedly wriggled out from his arms and held his face in her hands.

‘Ryuu, can you hear me? Ryuu, what up please!’ she pleaded. Her heart is jumping out of her chest when he didn’t respond. She cried for help but the villa is too far away. She screamed again then placed her ears near him to check if he was still breathing.

‘Ryuu, please! Please wake up,’ she cried. Her tears spilled freely from her face now, she didn’t care if it dripped on his face.

He heard her voice and then her frantic cries. He wanted to make her feel ok, he wanted to stop her from crying. Slowly, he let opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was an angels face above his, crying with relief. He coughed and hissed at the pain, then slowly he reach out his palms to touch her face. To his delight, she held on to his hands that cupped her cheeks.

‘Ryuu, are you ok? Can you hear me?’ Ayano asked worriedly. She cried and laughed weakly when he asked her she was hurt instead. ‘Out of all things, you ask me if I’m hurt?’ she answered incredulously then wiping her tears, ‘I’m fine, but you’re not. We need to get you back to the villa’.

Ryuu smiled when he heard her laughter. He tried to get up but pain shot through his back and he winced. She pushed him down, instructing him to stay still. ‘I’ll go get help so stay here,’ she said, preparing to leave but he grabbed on to her wrist. She looked down at him.

‘No don’t,’ he whispered.

‘Why not? You’re badly injured!’ she shrieked.

‘Please, just stay here with me. I’ll be fine’

‘But – ’ she protested.

‘Please?’ Ryuu pleaded. His eyes so sad that it breaks her heart to see him like that so she gave up and sat next to him, all the while holding on to his hands. Slowly, she lifted his head and slipped her legs underneath, letting his head rest on her thighs. He sighed with content. Next, Ayano let loose of her hair and used her ribbon to bandage the cut on his head. Ryuu let her tend to him carefully, his eyes staring up at her longingly. A tear hit his cheeks.

‘Aya-chan?’

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry I had to be so stubborn all the time. I’m sorry you got hurt because of me every time. I’m sorry – ’ she sniffed, ashamed to meet his eyes. He patted her head and hushed her.

‘Don’t say you’re sorry. It was an accident, it’s not your fault. I should be the one saying sorry to you a million times over again’.

‘Why?’ she sniffed louder.

‘Aya, I need to tell you something’

‘Hmm?’

‘You need to know the truth’

‘Yes?’ she answered cautiously, wiping her eyes and waiting for him to continue.

‘Three years ago, I didn’t broke the engagement because I don’t want you anymore. It was because of Jun and Megumi. I wanted you to be free to do what you want and not tied down because of me,’ he explained.

‘I know,’ Ayano answered meekly.

‘You do?’ he looked at her with surprise. ‘Then why?’

‘I kind of suspected but I can’t be too sure. I was mad at you because you underestimated yourself, you think you can’t bring me happiness because you need to care for the others. The truth is Ryuu, being next to you and knowing that I can be your support and help you is enough for me because I know you care for me too,’ she stroked his cheeks gently with her fingers. Fresh tears sprung from her eyes, he wiped it away.

‘The other day when you appeared, I was actually very happy but then when you ran away from me, I felt my world crashing down again’.

‘I’m sorry’.

‘Remember what I told you on the beach three years ago?’ he asked and she nodded. He took her hands, ‘I’m keeping my promise, so don’t run away from me anymore’ he kissed her hands and she cried tears of happiness. She told him yes.

Ignoring the pain, he lifted his head towards hers and took her face between his hands and kissed her passionately. The longing, pain and suffering for three years forgotten and never to be remembered like the sands washed away by the waves.

He pulled back and looked into her eyes, ‘I love you, I always do and I always will’.

She smiled, ‘I love you too’.